You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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