giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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