people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
