I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
