I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize