and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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