The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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