i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
