my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
