I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
