defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
