btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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