we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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