White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
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we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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