Who did Billy Mays play for?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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