Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no you cant smoke seaweed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
