she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
