why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
