So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
