Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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