this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
