So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't deserve a penis
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
