I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
