Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
