dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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