wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
a search helicopter?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
