in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
