he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
