I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just pynch a tree in the face
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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