I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
