can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
