she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We have so much sex to catch up on
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
