It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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