so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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