what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
