so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
