My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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