she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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