I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Randomize
