he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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