I hope mine doesn't look like that
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize