I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
