apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
