If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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