that's an acceptable place to lick
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
