I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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