oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
