Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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