Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
