Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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