Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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