I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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