i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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