You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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