How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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