Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
