my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
