oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
