We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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