Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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