His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
