...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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