He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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