Duck Duck Cougar?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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